In what can only be described as a brave, experimental, and occasionally rugby-shaped performance, Trafford MV 3rd XV took on Crewe & Nantwich in a match filled with drama, heroics, and one man who didn’t even bother showing up until half time. Let’s start with the positives - don’t worry, this won’t take long. James Halsall spent the afternoon at Number 8 proving he is, in fact, capable of carrying a ball and several opposition players at once. He was consistently strong, effective, and probably wondering why nobody else fancied joining him on his runs. Adam Halsall, meanwhile, decided centre was the perfect position from which to demonstrate that he is, by miles, the most useful Halsall on the pitch. Slick lines, tidy hands, real danger - so naturally he picked up Man of the Match, mostly for being the only player who didn’t appear confused about which sport we were playing.
Cal Boyd completed what can only be described as the easiest try of his life, but hey, a try’s a try, and we celebrate all achievements here at MV - even the ones delivered with the difficulty level of a toddler’s shape sorter. Ash Beer, not to be outdone, delivered a weaving, jinking, slaloming dash through the Crewe & Nantwich defence that looked suspiciously like he’d briefly remembered how to be good at rugby. A cracking try. Shame we couldn’t clone him. And then there was Marcus. Marcus, who arrived at half time, fashionably late, like a man who had checked the kick off time on a sundial. After ten whole minutes of being on the pitch, he decided to leave his mark on the game. Unfortunately, the referee also decided he should leave the pitch. Red card. Ten minutes. One man. Truly a cameo for the ages. Most players aim to make an impact; Marcus aimed to make the wrong one, and succeeded spectacularly.
Not wanting to be outdone, Andy Hope decided this game was the perfect opportunity to audition for Fight Club. He spent most of his minutes trying to start something with absolutely anyone in arm’s reach: opposition, team mates, passing wildlife - nobody was safe. The referee, unsurprisingly unimpressed with Hopey’s community outreach programme, handed over a card to calm things down. It didn’t. Crewe & Nantwich were, regrettably, better than MV at: • Rucks • Scrums • Lineouts • Organisation • Accuracy • Turning up on time. Basically, if it involved teamwork or technical competence, they had the edge.
But could they match MV for entertainment value? Absolutely not. Despite being routinely overpowered in the set piece, occasionally absent in defence, and periodically reduced in numbers thanks to Adam and James’ mass brawl - MV still delivered tries, laughs, and a performance that spectators will remember… mostly because they still can’t quite believe what they watched. Trafford MV 3rd XV: chaotic, heroic, and completely unserious. Just the way we like it.
Final score - Trafford MV 12 vs Crewe and Nantwich 31
Match Report by Jason Alexander aka Squidge
Dates for the Diary
We are now stocking a range of bottled ales as an option to the draught ales we have on the bar - we hope you will try these and make any request for ways we can improve.
Saturday January 24th - Mum's and Babies Day - Soft Play / Party Box / Meet other Club Mum's.
Monday - Social Touch Rugby 7.00pm - New Players Welcome speak to Squidge for info or message Wilf
Tuesday / Thursday - Senior Men's ( Contact Jamie Butler at mensrugby@tmvrfcc.co.uk) / Senior Women's Rugby Training
Tuesday / Thursday - Teenage Girls Rugby Training 6.30pm
Wednesday - Walking Rugby for Over 50's and newcomers to the game - 6.30pm - New Players welcome. Contact wilfdooley@virginmedia.com
Saturday - Social Touch Rugby 9.00am - New Players aged 12 years and above welcome Contact Wilf Dooley 07771 913994
